We assigned our engineers a very difficult task - to build the perfect printer. The result is the new Roland VersaCAMM VS series, the blueprint for better printing.
Now available in 64", 54" or 42" models, VersaCAMM VS printer/cutters achieve stunning results across a world of applications including signs, banners, vehicle graphics, fine art, labels, decals, POP displays and apparel heat transfers.
While our engineers were busy designing the perfect printer, some of our employees came up with their own outrageous ideas. Fortunately, none of them made the cut! We promise nothing you see here will ever be produced - at least not on a Roland!
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Episode 1 Brainstorm Troopers |
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Episode 2 Failure to Communicate |
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Episode 3 You Shred My Mind |
Congratulations to Brian Mallory of Oliver Signs in Valley City, Ohio!
Brian has been named winner of our “How NOT to Build the Perfect Printer” contest.
Best of the Worst Ideas ContestThink you can come up with more outrageous, unrealistic or just plain bad ideas than we featured in our videos? Submit your ideas below to enter our “How Not to Build a Perfect Printer” Contest. You could win an iPad just for sharing your bad idea!
Eric S.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 21:13:05
monster truck printer
complete with giant tires, alcohol burning 10000000 hp motor, classic hot rod flames, seat belts, and one of those beeping things when it backs up
Eric S.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 21:03:24
How about a coin dispenser that sprays nickels, with horns that blow, and a light show complete with fireworks that automatically works when the question is asked aloud “Why doesn’t my print look like my screen?”
Adam M.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 20:59:13
The worst printer is the one that does the total opposite of what you want it to do. You want to print your report or poster – NEVER!. But how about that email you wrote that makes fun of your boss or that scanned image of your butt from last years Holiday party – 10,000 copies and it won’t stop.
robbiei
Dec 15, 2010 @ 20:38:51
My printer has a 36″ max print area; 3 ink colors, purple, orange, and green; color banding, dull colors, one dot size and poor flesh tones. 22 ML ink cartridges. Inks easily clean up with a cola product, and print head is warrantied fo 2 months. 2010 worst product of the year!
Eric Sisk
Dec 15, 2010 @ 20:34:47
Client mind reading abilty to tell me if they really “need it by friday”
or a robotic arm attached to the printer that bolts an iron plate over the mouth of anyone that says aloud “that looks easy”, or “I’ll set up own artwork, my computer has paint”, or “get my logo off our website”.
robbiei
Dec 15, 2010 @ 20:29:22
My printer has a high pitch noise when running and if you walk away, the paper jams. It requires a 10″ leader sheet, and only runs in draft mode. The heater unit has no cover and there are no paper margin guides. Sometimes the paper skews but if you pull hard it will unrinkle.
Eric S.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 20:26:17
Printers that produce according to price that the customer wants or thinks he/she should pay…
the lower the number, the slower and lower the quality of the prints. All those prints get a watermark printed on the image that says, we do things fast, accurate, or cheap. You get to pick two.
robbiei
Dec 15, 2010 @ 20:23:26
My printer does not handle media, is of poor construction, uses no metallic or white ink, does not print/cut, has no rip, and offers no manufacturer support. It is only 32″; but if you need 64″ you can print twice! Pricing starts at $26,495.01 or lease for $600 /month.
regina
Dec 15, 2010 @ 20:16:22
my printer would suck.
don
Dec 15, 2010 @ 19:58:12
when you tried to print something on my printer, instead of printing your essay you worked so hard on, you get a burned piece of toast. enjoy!
robbie
Dec 15, 2010 @ 19:51:04
My printer does not have a “print” button and nothing can connect to it. I don’t want it to get a virus. If you pick me as the winner, something good will happen to you in the next 24 hours.
Maxine
Dec 15, 2010 @ 19:45:45
Make it voice activated. Give it a “quite lovely” (aka annoying) voice. Be sure to include the beloved phone tree type menus. Close all possible escape routes. Allow users to enjoy being caught up in the phone tree hell with no way to escape other than to power down and restart.
Joseph
Dec 15, 2010 @ 19:43:25
Finally, I want the special chip built in printer that can read my mind. It knows exactly when I have a fight with my wife; therefore, it will run smoothly and don’t give me hard time. Does everyone agree?
Joseph
Dec 15, 2010 @ 19:31:33
Printer that use vegetable inks to save environment. It also helps operator in case he or she got thirsty.
We can call this vegetable mixed inks (CYMK)—> V9 delicious!
Essam
Dec 15, 2010 @ 19:22:27
- Using colored oil instead of the colored ink to make your output printing oily art!
- Replace the rounded wheels in the printer legs with a square wheels to make funny movement.
- We need to give a printer shower every week using water and shampoo to keep it always clean.
Steve
Dec 15, 2010 @ 19:19:43
Printer with extra print head that uses the ink from the waste ink tank. This ink can be used for printing cheap black and white jobs.
Steve
Dec 15, 2010 @ 19:13:35
Shoe shining attachment for shining your shoes while you wait for your prints.
Steve
Dec 15, 2010 @ 19:13:01
Printer with sound system that plays music or sounds relevant to the images that are being printed. For example, when printing a picture of a baby, it makes baby sounds. Also has a optical character recognition feature that reads text and converts it to voice.
Steve
Dec 15, 2010 @ 19:12:12
Roll-Land printers ought to be portable. Just imagine Rolling over the Land in this road worthy printer. You can begin your journey to deliver your products and print them on the way!
stephen A
Dec 15, 2010 @ 19:12:01
what about a mind reader. so the slogan.. “you think it and we ink it”
Steve C.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 19:10:52
During any malfunction of the printer, the printer sneezes ink to alert the user of the problem.
stephen A
Dec 15, 2010 @ 19:10:15
what about a recycling machine to be attached to the printer. so the waste ink will be recyled and separate the colors then a hose that is connected to cartridges. and has a sign “Earth Friendly”
Van
Dec 15, 2010 @ 19:09:34
Combine a popcorn machine and a printer. Add butter and salt dispensers. The aroma of hot-buttered popcorn created by the machine will give everyone in the building that warm, fuzzy feeling until the printer jams and that choking, smoky smell of burnt popcorn permeates every room in the place.
Van
Dec 15, 2010 @ 19:02:12
Build a gigantic monster printer named Cammera to fight giant Japanese movie monsters. Cammera can fly through print jobs using a rapidly moving print head & has the power to emit a rainbow of colors on long rolls of paper. The cast learns not to run in front of him, waving their arms & screaming.
Joseph
Dec 15, 2010 @ 18:35:40
The printer that attached an aerobic exercise equipment.
Todd C.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 18:21:21
How about a printer that can read your customers mind!!! Because all customers think that we can already do that!!! Im sure all Roland owners can relate to that!!!!
Van
Dec 15, 2010 @ 18:20:43
Add a tiny chrome statue of a person bowling to the top of the printer making it into the world’s largest bowling trophy. Trim the printer in gold paint and install a laser etcher to make an engraved name plate. The cast will film a promo video wearing “Gutter Cutters” embroidered bowling shirts.
Todd C.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 18:13:21
Create a ink that will disappear after a week or month or year. so your client will have to reorder more vinyl jobs from you.
Call it “JOB SECURITY INK”
Eric S.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 18:00:01
How about an accordion feature. So I can stretch my printers width to what ever size scrap materials I have laying around. If I need a 119″ wide printer I pull on one end and it stretches to fit. If I need it print something 10″ wide I can push it back together. More room for square dances.
Eric S.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 17:54:18
The printers need a device that knows when I am in traffic, and changes all the traffic lights to green for me at all times…
Van
Dec 15, 2010 @ 17:29:55
Develop a printer that vampires can use. The ink is replaced by another “vampire favorite liquid” supplied by the local blood bank. The printer is at rest during the day but comes to life at midnight. The cutting blades are made of silver in order to keep werewolves from printing unauthorized…
Joseph
Dec 15, 2010 @ 17:21:37
Built in weed tools to pick the unwanted vinyls in the design and swap them directly to garbage container. Save time and environment!
Van
Dec 16, 2010 @ 01:09:42
Combine a lie-detector and a printer that uses electric impulses from the operator to roll the paper back and forth. A lie makes it go forward and the truth makes it back up.
Van
Dec 16, 2010 @ 01:04:01
Work with NASA scientists to incorporate a printer on the space shuttle. This printer uses specially treated gravity paper that rolls down in zero gravity space instead of floating during the print job.
Van
Dec 16, 2010 @ 00:57:47
Develop a printer that only prints red/blue (anaglyphic) 3-D images. Market to the movie companies so they can use the one-sheet, poster-sized prints in theatre lobbies. Roland can supply the paper 3-D glasses with special coupons printed on the temple (The “legs” that extend from the frame…
henny
Dec 16, 2010 @ 00:56:25
add aqurium to the printer when your tired make you relax take you to the ocean.
henny
Dec 16, 2010 @ 00:53:37
build printer in small pieces that we can assemble it everywhere.
Van
Dec 16, 2010 @ 00:08:05
Add a projector with a light beam powerful enough to see the print job projected on the moon. The client will step outside that night to review and approve the job, as long as there are no clouds in the sky. If it is cloudy, bounce the image off orbiting satellites onto the side of their building.
Joshua W.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 23:52:08
Introducing with the new VersaCAMM VS VirtualPrinter Add-on from Roland! This amazing new feature allows you to print “virtually” on our patented Electronic Paper Display Unit(tm). The EPDU(tm) offers incredible 1024 x 768 resolution at up to 65,000 colors! The future is here!
Van
Dec 15, 2010 @ 23:51:25
Add stirrups and a saddle and build in a bucking mechanism in the printer to help train rodeo riders. Do a special promotion where buyers will get a “free” plaid western shirt with each purchase and a DVD video featuring the cast showing the proper way to yell “YEE-HAW!” before hitting the…
Victor T.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 23:49:14
Mount a paper shredder in front to shred the prints for easy shipping and look,no more color complaints.
Joshua W.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 23:41:15
Never waste precious media or ink again with the new VersaCAMM VS VirtualPrinter Add-on! This amazing new feature allows you to print “virtually” on our patented Electronic Paper Display Unit(tm). The EPDU(tm) offers incredible 1024 x 768 resolution at up to 65,000 colors! The future is here!
Jane Z.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 23:18:57
Put wheels and a hitch on the printer and attach an brightly coloured umbrella. Add a portable generator and laptop with a webcam and it can be the first Hot Printer Cart parked in the downtown core to offer quick digital pictures to tourists.
Joshua W.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 23:13:39
The new Expressions Pack for the VersaCAMM VS brings your printer to life! Mix and match the included eyes, noses and mouths to create a look that’s uniquely yours! For a limited time, we’re offering 3 choices of real hair you can cut and style on your own! Printing has never looked so good!
Joshua W.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 22:48:55
Now available exclusively from Roland- The VersaCAMM VS MiniCoaster Add-on! Experience the incredible speed as you twist and turn along the customizable track! Hold on tight as you enter the mind boggling loop-d-loop. Be sure to duck as you zip under the media handling system! Fun for Everyone!
Adrian B
Dec 15, 2010 @ 22:13:14
Add dead beat customer laminating fluid and an RFID chip inserter
Customer doesnt pay bill – all it takes is a phone call to turn their graphics into a customer is a bum warning, everything exceptt that falls off
Sandy
Dec 15, 2010 @ 21:59:49
have the printer talk back
Are you still trying to print that impossible grey?
Are you really going to try to contour cut that .117″ oval ?
Hey dummy; it is the black ink that ran out; not the cyan!!!
Sandy
Dec 15, 2010 @ 21:58:15
Make the printer invisible
Vernon D.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 21:54:08
Incorporate Yoda, Darth Vader and his kids Luke and Princess Leia. Use the Star Wars theme music is it prints, Darth Vader Breathing and mind control for dealing with all the “Wonderful Joyeous” clients. Yoda on a hamster wheel to help us go a little green + Luke and Leia to ensure the job gets…
Franky
Dec 15, 2010 @ 21:11:08
Build a very low cost printer, It must to be also very small so I can take it anywere, and when I needed to print a large document I printed it in pieces, and at the end of all those print jobs then I join them into a one single piece. Roland should also supply tape or glue to join all those pieces!
Doug M.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 21:08:33
Add a charcoal barbecue grill to the printer, when you hungry during those long print runs!
Albert L.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 20:44:20
I think if you make Rholand Printers with a TOUCH SCREEN menu, and have VersaWorks Installed for companies that does big production, Also have a micro camera inside to be able to see what the printer is printing when you leave it for overnight printing,and when ur at home you can watch whats printin
Kim K.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 20:25:47
It’s very simple. A printer that prints invisible ink. I don’t think there could be an idea worse than that.
Greg D.\
Dec 15, 2010 @ 20:20:35
Convince the graphic arts community that striping and banding are the latest fad…a “must have” design element that everyone is using. That way we don’t need to clean or maintain our printers anymore!
Daron T.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 20:10:01
Upside down printing/ print head? No drying time, your image gets smeared as it feeds out from the printer and makes a huge mess to clean up every time. Purpose: hides any banding problem! haha! Or, a blower instead of a vacuum? Purpose: Guaranteed to get a head strike on ever pass! haha
robbiei
Dec 15, 2010 @ 19:56:10
My printer floats and is waterproof. It is solar operated and prints with oily salt water. This mixture is forced thru the ink tubes by blowing (similar to blowing up a balloon). Once a good suction has begun, the printer will turn the oil into a giant ocean floor graphic.
Traci H
Dec 15, 2010 @ 19:47:58
Build it completely opposite of the way the Versacamm is built!!!
robbiei
Dec 15, 2010 @ 19:45:32
I’m building a printer, staying up late! Can’t go to the gym, or see my date. I can’t find the on switch, the ink door won’t close. The cables are cracked, and I can’t find the ink hose. Parts aren’t connecting, i feel like a jerk. Seems very clear, this darnn printer will never work.
Claudia
Dec 15, 2010 @ 19:37:07
Laminate right after printing in the same machine
Bonnie V.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 19:09:27
Make a printer out of iron (S&H cost much, $ back when recycled, place an engine hoist on side for easy mobility & disposible, should any little thing go wrong. ie ink run out, head strike, paper jam, misallignment, sticky feed feet, too cold or hot. Corner market w only 1 media purchased thru you.
Nick K.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 18:58:32
Use lots of LED’s, lasers, LCD’s and blinky things and spacecraft sounds whe it prints!
Clayton L.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 18:56:57
Conform the printer to print with various shades of cheese and cheese dyed cymk & media based on thin crust pizza dough so you can print photos and pizzas you can eat. An optional high heat/oven dryer will allow you to cook them as they come off the printer. Your face on a pizza …
Nick K.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 18:54:49
built in webcam so the customer can see his job printing
fadi j.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 18:52:47
i have no idea and that is very bad idea
Maxine
Dec 15, 2010 @ 18:49:10
I want a printer that can print and manifest other printers!
Maxine
Dec 15, 2010 @ 18:46:55
Put a lever or button to lower the heaters closer to the floor. Or, better yet, add second set of heaters down near the floor. Our shop is cold… and when printing those big jobs, it sure would be nice to have a foot warmer nearby to keep my toes from freezing.
George N.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 18:28:51
Add a Paper stretcher. Where it actually stretches the substrate (paper) before it prints on it. So you could buy a small roll lets say 12″ wide by 12″ long, when ran would yield a sheet that’s 60″ wide by 200 feet.
Martin
Dec 15, 2010 @ 18:28:12
Beside the printer put a toilet so you can trough the garbage.
Will. M
Dec 15, 2010 @ 18:19:23
Put a compartment like a trunk (for storage iPad, extra ink, lunch etc.) have a place for two wheels in the back one in the front, and handlebars on it so you can take your work with you. Oh yes don’t forget the battery , charged when plugged in or driving around. Ps iPad can be used as GPS..
Will. M
Dec 15, 2010 @ 18:07:27
Put a port on the Roland for the iPad so the batteries could be charged. Also the iPad and you would be able to communicate with the Roland
ownload projects, receive info such as ink amounts, project cost etc.. You The Roland and the iPad as one…Making your job easier Roland iPad You!
Will. M
Dec 15, 2010 @ 17:46:27
I would have a photo eye on the Roland so it could cast a 3D photo of the Project on a wall. The 3D photo would show the full picture in a wire format or in a very low opacity. As the project is printed or cut the photo would fill in with color showing you how long before completion.
ivan l.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 17:38:13
use fruit juices for inks. Strawberry juice for red, coffee for black, pineapple for yellow and blueberry juice for cyan.
Jon S.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 17:09:38
Adding an interface that allows customers to directly input their job to print before you can review it for sizing, color, errors and all the other things they screw up all the time! This would waste miles of materials, gallons of ink, and a whole lot of time and energy. Nice.
Linda V
Dec 15, 2010 @ 16:55:33
A green printer with biotechnology. You never have to load media because it has a continuous roll feed of paper that is self-replicating. Just feed trees in one end, talk nice to it, water occasionally and watch it grow. Choose your media DNA type and press GO.
Linda V
Dec 15, 2010 @ 16:54:29
For our frustrated designers, let’s send them over the edge and create user hostile controls, arranged in a highly illogical manner then design special circuits so that no matter what printer quality is selected, it always prints in draft mode but tells you it is doing its best.
Linda V
Dec 15, 2010 @ 16:53:19
Design a RIP where the elusive quest to target a certain color becomes a fun game of chance with up to 6 players using joy stick controlled (C,M,Y, K, LM and LC).
Linda V
Dec 15, 2010 @ 16:51:18
Add special buttons that improve image quality and sanity:
Button 1: Make this picture of me pretty and/or handsome
Button 2: Turn this 72 dpi screen grab into a marvelous, 60ft mural, and the most popular button of all … Button 3: Explain to my family why I worked until midnight to finish this…
Linda V
Dec 15, 2010 @ 16:47:48
I want a RIP that translates customer speak into a known and understandable language. Where ambiguous concepts like “Make it look interesting” and “I need it ASAP” are no longer mysterious moving targets.
Linda V
Dec 15, 2010 @ 16:46:49
I want a really big roll dispenser to print (actual size and in its entirety): the great wall, route 66, the yellow brick road, and an unabridged edition of War and Peace.
Linda V
Dec 15, 2010 @ 16:45:16
I want a printer that is as moody as our Artist. It broods and pouts, runs on gourmet coffee, and only prints when it feels like it but when it prints…the colors are brilliant, the ideas are fresh, and the dance between curves, color and cutouts is a work of art! Even if it is only a “For Sale” Sign
Dan B
Dec 15, 2010 @ 16:44:17
Add a wind-up crank on the side, give it a few turns and, BAM!!! A clown pops out and hands you your print.
Peter W.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 16:25:47
I would love to have a printer that I could talk to and simply ask it to print my files at whatever size and resolution I’d like. The printer in whichever voice I choose (preferably a sooth female voice) would respond with a confirmation and would show a quick image for me to approve prior to…
David H.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 16:23:07
Make a printer that is capable of using oil paints. This way if the prints dont come out right the first time (or second time) you can smear the paint on to the substrate to create awesome abstract paintings/art work, and decrease wasted material.
Victor T.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 16:21:28
How about a printer that doubles as a septic tank truck, to be able to print politically correct campaign
signs for undoubtedly honest politicians (all of them)
Terrence M.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 16:09:24
Make a box in the shape of a big printer, and put a kid inside it with a box of crayons. Put the paper in and let the kid draw the picture. Then the kid can push it back out the other side. It’ll probably still be better than some of the competition. Might break some child labor laws though!
Matt B.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 16:07:11
Increase print speed by attaching hydrogen peroxide rocket boosters, which are attached to pressurized hydrogen peroxide tanks, to the carriage. They are environmentally friendly, too! Byproducts are water, oxygen, and heat.
Mike M.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 15:46:26
Burn a smudge pot next to your printer to make your own carbon for toner.
Sandy F.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 15:33:41
Make the printer an air deoderizer…it will keep the office smelling good.
Sandy F.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 15:30:04
Make the printers submersible! Work under water.
Pedro H.
Dec 15, 2010 @ 15:28:43
What about a mechanic bull? Make the machine into a mechanic bull (of course with the coin device to collect some cash, would’t hurt these times), so when we are not printing we can have tournaments with the girls in the office. yeaaahh!! Sorry, I actually think this is a great idea.
Connie F
Dec 15, 2010 @ 15:21:20
Add a passport photo option that automatically edits your picture so that you aren’t placed on the no fly list.